“Why your poetry seems lost”
She asked me with a hint of pain,
“For I, a universe failed at being world to someone and this thought keep haunting me back and again.
Some days I weave galaxies other days fall down my own black holes,
Get hurt again and again still keep looking for souls.
Perhaps I have become the ocean who keep nurturing, is still saline,
I have stopped fitting in, an initiative to redefine my own boundary lines. ”
My heart ache for the souls left unheard,
Be it humans or that caged bird.
If I could be the voice, I would shout all day,
Will mold my lungs to breath everyone’s pain away.
No one should be hushed, for earth belongs to all,
Have this desire to hold everyone and never let them fall.
Whole universe cries every time anyone’s dream shatters,
Every word, every smile, every single breath matters.
I belong to this world or maybe I am the world or just a void in space, whatever it is, some days I am so full of life, feels like I could give birth to million galaxies and swallow down the burning meteoroids or maybe save everyone from existential crisis. When I see someone suffering, especially something I have been through and managed to survive, there is this invincible desire to move their world upside down and make them see, how incredibly tiny and pointless their pain/ sufferings are. Then, at the exact same moment I want to stay distant, speak only when asked and help only as much as needed to let others soak up the hell fire and be their own Phoenix.
Everyday, I come across someone who starts or end the conversation with “you/ your words saved me” and I just end up smiling, doing nothing, trying to be distant. Like how!
I can barely drag myself out to at least to breathe. I leave conversations in cliffhanger, don’t reply for weeks, worse, delete my accounts. When I am back from the shell, how everyone is still here? Why everyone is still here?
There is this person living inside me, even after all the hell I put through myself, she never left, she actually refuses to leave. And wants to save everyone, her believes in love are so strong that all my demons cry for her to leave. But she keep trying to pull off these “heroic” scenes. Once I told her, if you must,then save me from myself.To which she replied, “saving is not something you need”.
OKAY. What do I need then?
You can call me narcissist, but my world does revolves around me. I am the greatest weapon of destruction and source of healing I have ever known, and these days..
I am not sure what I am.
on the wall.
I asked her about
the heart with a hole.
Empty eyes were
scared of nightmares
she didn’t speak,
A powerful soul,
within a body so weak.
Instead of healing,
she keep choosing pain,
Stuck in labyrinth
of loss and gain.
Here’s to a beautiful year.
This is the longest relationship I have ever had with any kind of social media account (with minimum fluctuations) and I seriously never thought of coming this far.
Will keep posting like before (every Saturday) and will try to read each of your work.
And I actually like WordPress, so hope to stick around here, till next year.
Thank you for reading, for making me believe that words can never lose their magic.
If they ever do, I know other forms of art too 🙂
Thank you ♡
Words bleed out of my mouth
without my concern,
Keep leaving this body
with no hint of return.
I’m the master
of breaking my own heart,
with weird thoughts
and shattered hope
I keep tearing myself apart.
You can see me
but it’s not me.
My scars are on exhibition
I don’t want them to be.
People come to me
You’re art inside out.
I can’t help,
I just wonder and doubt.