I once heard someone say
The world inside your head is barren,
But I brush that thought away
For who they are to think they know.
The spring came but I failed to fix the gloom
For in corners of my mind, the thought grew bit by it,
For my own skin no longer seems to fit.
The whole world crawls on my walls
They tell me, tomorrow will be good,
How long does it takes to reach the mountains
When your soul in trapped in the woods?
My days are constantly afraid of nights
No Matter how brightly it shines, that moon,
For seasons are mere illusions
I am forever out of tune.
I often find myself with the ghosts after the whole world goes to sleep,
The world say those creatures are horrifying
but to my wonder I saw them weep.
It always seems like their darkness is my comfort even though they suck out my light,
My world sometimes seems dull and shallow do they have it bright?
They know the colour of my nightmares and all the words that drag me below,
How the world starts slipping out of my body
whenever I hold on and try to swallow.
Breath by breath I try to walk, not sure about the horizon or meadow,
I was told not to go too far as hell has nothing to offer, now I know.
The thought of bleeding
and running out of love
is what makes the pen fall still,
Even though we can always
paint the sky yellow, but the fear
that others never will.
We always look for the spring
without trying to learn
the cold beauty of snow,
Why choose the abandoned cracks to hide
when it can be a place where we can grow?
One day without any warning,
ocean will swallow
the only earth we ought to call home,
So be proud of your heart I say,
for its a whole universe,
let it roam.
Even when your blood dries out
or when the world turns upside down
breaking apart only painting
you ever drew,
Let your heart
have this privilege
of being your first home,
try to look up at sky,
even if it’s blue.
Yesterday I got a notification from WordPress about crossing 5k, of course it made me happy but I really didn’t believe it until one of my friends sent me a screenshot.
Numbers never really mattered ( because I suck at maths and I am fan of puns xD) but today they does and I can’t explain in words how much they matter.
Past few months have been weird and you won’t believe, some days blog was my only motivation to not to give up.
Thank you all for believing in me, always encouraging and checking on me ( I have read all the mails and I couldn’t be more grateful).
Thank you for being here at times when I couldn’t.❤
in fear of
More or less
I want the world
to stay deceived.
For they are
and fancy words,
I am painting
Don’t you hear the leaves singing
endless tale of life?
To live is to know that
you have to let go sometimes.
What if they also
refuse wind’s hand and
join stubborn hearts in strike?
What will be the point of seasons,
all the moments and wasted time?
Let go, breath, forget about
the ones who left,
Fall, fly along with your heart
towards the land of abandoned joy.
Autumn taught me it’s okay to change
Sometimes, it’s must and best,
To be a tree resting in winter
instead of being a volcano to destroy.
Lately, I have been feeling so pissed at world and my head seems full of rants, probably not going to talk about that to someone. So I guess I’m starting to write them down here.
I have been called pretty, beautiful and all the things someone want to hear, but I don’t want to hear that. I wanted to hear something more that that, something that have value to me ( values and ideas vary) .Recently, I met one of my aunts, she looked me and said you’re going to be a great mother…
Okay. I get it. Women are the arc reactors where we put the same ingredients and wait for the same products, the same expected results from generations.
She didn’t ask me about my major or my favourite book, what if I don’t want to be an arc reactor? What if I want to be more that what I already am?
Why people always talk about boobs and womb, why nobody talk about strength and brains? Why they always talk about finding the right guy and have the fucking happily forever and after? Are we living in Disney’s dimension?
Why no one is teaching their kids to be more than what they can be?